She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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