forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
