i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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