You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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