Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
