It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Terrible idea I love it
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
