Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
