so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Randomize
