I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
