Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
