You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
