i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
