Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
