He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
