soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
