I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
