It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
