There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
