Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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