why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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