there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
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Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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