I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Im just a social blackout drinker.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
