just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
