She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I think my moral compass just broke
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