He disabled his match.com account in front of me
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Randomize
