So drunk its hurt
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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