The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
