dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
