you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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