How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
