I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
