It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
