I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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