so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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