My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
