I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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