the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
