I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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