K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
