Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize