i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
