Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We left the knife in your bed.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
