haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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