What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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