I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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