apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
