I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
