Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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