Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
