Christians are straight up FREAKS
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
