What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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