More tranny stories later!
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
