Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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