billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
