I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
