Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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