If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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