I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm at about main and main street
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
