Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
