everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
