My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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