you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
